Homemade Egg Rolls + A Rant
Erica Lea on Sep 8th 2011
I have reconsidered publishing this post so many times. I’m usually too chicken to post anything so controversial. But I need to get this off my chest. Please note that I’m not trying to judge anyone - you have to do that for yourself.
So here goes my first rant…
Edit: Because it gave the wrong impression, I have decided to remove the intro to my post. I felt it was detracting from the heart of this discussion. My sincerest apologies for any hurt caused by my words.
Belittling your husband to anyone is low. Very low.
Our husbands are the people we are closest to. We share our deepest feelings with each other.
How would you feel if you found that your husband had been complaining about you to all his friends. Laughing at your bad days. Poking fun at your shortcomings. Would you be livid? So would I.
Somehow we think that we have the right tell the world how moronic we think our husbands/parents/siblings are. Now, I happen to be married to the most amazing man in the world, so I have no trouble singing his praises. But even if he was a jerk, I would have no right to tear him down in public. After all, I’m not perfect. I wouldn’t want him to tell everyone about my imperfections.
I’m not saying that I’ll never fall into that trap - I’m newly married and have many years of experience to go. But I hope with all my heart that if I do, I can be pulled out of it.
So the next time you feel like ratting your husband out, think about how you would feel if he did the same for you.
Cook him something he loves instead!
:: END OF RANT ::
Reuben loves egg rolls. Or most anything deep fried. I love this man.
Eggs rolls are one my favorite restaurant foods to make at home. So easy, yet so delicious.
Notes:
I thought the filling could use a tad more salt. Next time I may add a little more soy sauce and perhaps a bit more ginger. Because I love ginger. A lot.
You can also bake these egg rolls in a 400 degree oven. Simply grease the pan a brush the tops of the egg rolls with oil. Bake 10-12 minutes, or until golden brown.
Egg Rolls
Adapted from egg roll wraps package | Printable Page | Makes approximately 12 egg rolls
Ingredients:
- Egg roll wraps, store-bought or homemade
- 1/2 lb. ground pork
- 1/2-1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger
- 1 cup finely chopped cabbage
- 1/4 cup shredded carrot
- 1/4 cup finely chopped onion
- 1-2 tablespoons soy sauce
- Coconut oil, for frying
Directions:
1) In a skillet set over medium heat, cook the pork until almost done. Add the ginger and continue to cook until the pork is no longer pink. Add the cabbage, carrots, and onions. Cook until the onions and cabbage are soft. Stir in the soy sauce. Taste and adjust seasonings if necessary. Remove from heat.
2) Allow the mixture to cool slightly. Meanwhile, heat the oil over medium-high heat to 350 degrees. Preheat oven to 250 degrees.
3) Fill each roll with 2-3 tablespoons of filling. Place filling diagonally on the wrap. Fold one corner over the filling, fold in the two sides. Moisten the top corner and fold over to seal.
4) Cook egg rolls in hot oil, turning occasionally, until golden, about 2-3 minutes. Place in a paper-towel lined pan in the oven to keep warm while you cook the rest.
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I agree about the rant. I don’t always agree with my husband, but complaining about him doesn’t make things better. I am in this marriage for eternity and so looking at the positive and being grateful for him and what he does builds that relationship. A suggestion for those having trouble seeing the good: get a little notebook (or big one) and each day write down at least 5 things about him you are grateful for. This may start off on obvious things, but as the days pass you will see more and more little things that are good about him. Thanks Erica for letting me comment on this. Gossiping, especially negatively, about Anyone is not good and only brings the people involved in the conversation down.
I completely agree. I’ve been married for seven years (together for 11) and if there is something that frustrates us, we talk it out. Telling others about it will not get us to a better place. A few years ago during at a friend’s wedding ceremony, the minister told the couple that if there is wife or husband bashing going on around the water cooler at work, walk away or say something nice about your wife/husband. Always speak about your significant other in kind terms. That really stuck with me and I think it is great advice.
Beautiful little egg rolls!
I say, Yes, Yes, Yes to your rant. I’ve been married 20 years - is there *anything* I could moan about when it comes to my husband? Well, of course… he’s a sinner, just as I am. He is ‘but a man’ as I am ‘but a woman’, but public moaning of him - No, No, No.
(That’s not to say we can never confide in another Christian lady if there’s something that we feel is being done wrong… that’s different, and legitimate, and helpful often…. )
Keep it up, Erica - you’ll never regret it
(Oh, and you think you love him now…. you wait until you’ve grown together for 20 years
Anne x
Amen girl!
I definitely agree with your rant. It’s rude and tacky to knock down your man (or woman) in front of the whole world wide web. I would be horrified and so upset if I found my fiance talking smack about me to the internet world! People need to learn some internet/spouse etiquette.
You are SO RIGHT about not slamming our husbands. I have been married for almost 24 years and that is a lessons I learned long ago, thankfully. Edifying, encouraging, and lifting our husbands up is one of the best ways to show our respect and honor for them. It makes them better men, for us!!
Your egg rolls look amazing!
Thanks for sharing your heart and your recipes.
I tend to have a strong visceral reaction to such comments too. It’s painful - about as painful as realizing that I’ve just made such a comment. Unfortunately, that’s happened to me as well. In those instances I’m thankful for the grace that enables my husband and I to be in the habit of confessing things we’re convicted about to each other.
Thanks. It always reminds me to be more diligent in encouraging my husband with praise when I hear other wives praising their husbands.
I’ve been married quite a few years. The problem is that when you rant or complain about your significant other to anyone, that’s what they remember. Not that your husband stayed with you through thick and thin or was a great father etc… They will remember that one horrible negative thing you said about him. Learned this lesson by saying something to a friend and then having that friend email me back saying,”You know, I never liked him very much.” OUCH
The egg rolls look divine!
Respect is a wonderful foundation for a new marriage. Sometimes I think women bond by husband bashing but they don’t realize they’re revealing more about themselves than their husbands by talking trash.
Oh I love you. There have been many times, having been sparked by other ladies’ blogs, that I have wanted to rant in the same way - how can you say such things? how is this showing your love? I can’t even bring myself to complain to friends or sisters, and it disgusts me to hear things from my mom and mother-in-law about men I admire. Why would you say such things when you have a great opportunity to bring others to admire them as you do?
But I can’t bring myself to post the rant, because my husband reads my blog, and that’s just too much of a “look at how wonderful I am, husband” and doing that is as hard as gossiping about him.
Also, I’ve never commented before so I’ll tell you now, your recipes are beautiful and delicious.
I am so with you on the rant. It drives me crazy when women air their husbands’ dirty laundry to the world. When I see how many women complain so much about their husbands I think it’s no wonder that the divorce rate is so high in America.
My husband and I have been married for nearly 20 years, and I think that a healthy amount of respect on both sides is possibly the most important element in maintaining a happy marriage. Keep that attitude, and you and your husband will do well.
Love the simplicity of your recipe.
Here’s a shortcut that’s comes in handy for my family of 9, especially when I’m short on prep time in the kitchen.
I use bagged coleslaw mix in the ready-to-eat bagged salad section of your grocery. Presto! Cabbage and carrots shredded and ready to make eggrolls in a pinch! Just cook your pork. Throw in the bag of coleslaw. Add seasoning and your ready to wrap.
Also, if you add salt to taste, it is better than adding more soy. You want to keep the moisture level of your filling at a minimum. It will reduce oil splattering, ensuring a safer frying experience.
Enjoy!
Girl, I totally agree with you. I’ve seen the same thing, and it makes me so sad. Even if I’m upset with or annoyed by my hubby, that’s between us, not the whole world’s business. So glad to hear your positivity - and those egg rolls look fantastic : )
Go, Erica! =)
I agree with you 200%. I had to seek out the post to get a good frame of reference, but if I found the correct one, it was similar to what I see all over the internet (including social networking sites). I know you are newlywed, and yes, you will probably get frustrated sometimes, but I think you are taking the right approach to watch what you put out into the blogosphere. There is a TV judge that likes to say, “Say it, forget it; write it, regret it”, and that seems like sound advice to me.
Good luck in all that you do, try to stay newlywed, and keep cooking from the heart.
So true, Erica. Bashing on husbands, or just anything male, is very sad. I got a lot of negative advice from the women I worked with right after I was married saying that after five years, the honeymoon will be completely over and I’ll want to leave him. They also made sure I knew that second marriages turn out better. Well, we’re working on year number six and I’m more in love with him than ever. First and foremost, I accredit that to God and our mutual love for Him, but an outworking of my faith is that I was seeking to not dwell on the negative or to fuss about him to others. The opportunity to fuss was there all the time, but a good marriage sometimes must be fought for. It sounds like you and your husband are on the right track
And the egg rolls look scrumptious! Thank you!
A great big AMEN! There’s a quote I saw on Pinterest lately…Never talk bad about your husband to anyone. Everyone has their own faults and your thoughts on this are right on - do unto others. This is a wonderful attitude to have early on in your marriage.
And I want some of these egg rolls right now!
Nicely said Erica….I have been married 29 years and really dislike seeing posts where one spouse is degrading the other. For one thing….like you stated (in so many words) IT’S NOT VERY NICE! …. and for another thing …. It really makes me think differently about the poster’s intelligence and personality when they go off on their loved one.
My husband and I have had our differences and we leave it between ourselves. And although three children have seen and heard arguments between us but they have also witnessed the two of us apologize to each other and show love.
My oldest daughter got married this past April and my son will be married in April 2012. I hope that we have set an example for them as to how to have a committed, lasting, loving relationship with your spouse. I think we have.
…..and that egg roll recipe sounds AWESOME!
Completely, completely agree! I don’t often comment on your blog but I just had to. That is one thing that really bothers me. Small things can be fun to poke fun at(my hubby and I do that all the time, but never in front of anyone other than our parents and siblings) but complaining about your husband on something as public as a blog is ridiculous! I’m glad you had the courage to say it
I’ve always been afraid of making egg rolls - I’m not a fan of frying anything. That much hot oil and two little kids running around(not to mention that much hot oil makes me a little clumsy) is scary. I do want to try frying them some day, I bet they’re delicious. Until then, thanks for the note for baking them
Totally agree with our point on respecting others, especially the person who we should love the most.
Anyway, love your egg rolls. I seldom make egg rolls at home because I don’t like to deep fry and have a whole pot of oil wasted. Love your idea of using a small shallow pan and frying a few at a time.
My hubby love egg rolls and I’m going to make some for him this weekend.
Thanks for sharing your story and recipe.
Thank you so much for this reminder. My husband and I have walked through some very dark paths in our relatively short marriage, and you’ve made me realize that, at some point, I stopped confessing my hurts and fears to wise ears, and started telling anyone and everyone who would listen all of our dirty laundry and how badly I’ve been treated. How could I ever hope for a better and brighter future with my beloved when all I’m doing is wallowing in the past and bringing him back into the muck with me? I’m so glad you posted this, and I’m quite excited about the eggrolls.
A lot of your comments are coming from Christians who relate their respect of their husbands to their Christianity. Just wanted to let you know there are atheists out there who agree with your rant as well!
My two cents is this: for those that slam their spouse (husbands do it too), just think of what it would be like to suddenly not have them there at all, for good times or bad. My husband died 10 years ago. I’d give anything to have him ‘annoy’ me just one more time.
Did you honestly just say “cook him something he loves instead?” God forbid a woman vent mild frustrations in a humorous way if it involves saying something against her husband. Forget having sense of humor and an ability to share with our peers, we really should keep our mouths shut and cook for our husbands instead.
Give your marriage another year or two- or even a few more months- and perhaps you’ll see that the key to a great marriage is not constantly praising and protecting one another from strangers thinking our spouse is less than perfect.
I totally agree with your rant and hope to one day put it into practice!
I make egg rolls a lot like this…my grandma showed me how she did it, and I tweaked it a little. I need to try the ginger though…I’ve never cooked with ginger very much at all.
well spoken rant! I’ve noticed, though it’s not a scientific survey…, that the folks married the longest publicly complain about their spouses the least. Man, would I hate to have my weaknesses and lowpoints broadcast over the internet!
My husband (of almost 21 years!) is the Chinese chef in our family. I’m passing the eggroll recipe along to him!
Blessings!
Thank you for posting this! I couldn’t agree more. With any relationship, there are ups and downs but I don’t believe that it is appropriate to rant about it in public. I know there are days that I feel like “venting” about an issue but like always the best thing to do is to sort it out with my husband/relative as opposed to putting it online.
Egg rolls = look amazing!!! Thanks for sharing!
I completely agree 100%.
I think it’s disrespectful to discuss your problems with anyone else other than your spouse. Friends are nice to lean on when you need them, but when I do, I stick to my side of the story only, and try not to drag him into it. But a coffee date with your girlfriend to vent your stress is WAY different than posting something on the internet.
You have already discovered the most important thing in a marriage–R.E.S.P.E.C.T!
And y’all will live happily ever after for it
Bravo to you Erica and all you lovely ladies! In a time when the tender quality of class is mercilessly being beaten to extinction, I am inspired by one who stood her ground to defend and preserve her segment of civilization. I never write but I could not stay silent. You lead, I’ll follow!
You go girl!! I find it inappropriate to talk bout my husband to everyone, I wonder how another can. I can’t handle imagining my husband talking bout me to his friends, would really lower my ego.
Love the egg rolls, looks nice.
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We call that “sniping”….and will refer to those people forever as “snipers”. And I learn not to trust them.
If they will speak badly of husbands, or wifes…what do they say about friends?
Looks like egg rolls are on the menu this weekend! I’ve got fresh pork sausage and two heads of cabbage!
This post really hit home! (plus, the recipe looks great and I am a fan of your blog
I think it’s easy for us as women to feel the heavy burden of all the many things a woman has to carry in life and the double standard working women or full time moms really face, and “venting about your husband” becomes bashing pretty quickly. It’s true that if it were a bunch of men writing like this about their wives no one would stand for it.
Your post made me appreciate my husband for everything he is and to offer him what I’d like in return - respect, patience, space, understanding, and above all else love.
I also thought you might find interesting this Slate article about the new crop of TV shows following a trend of kind of bashing the guys on the show - http://www.slate.com/id/2303271/
I follow your blog and others out there because of the beautiful photos, delicious recipes and the expected G rating and kind language. I agree completely with your reminder. I enjoy women supporting and encouraging one another in life’s trials…as your rant has done.
…pay no mind to the ‘you just wait until…’ advice. {I think you already know the secret to a successful marriage with faith as your cornerstone…and actually believing in and living out the vows you made to one another.} …are those waiting for disaster in a marriage to strike really surprised when it arrives? I don’t get that.
anyhoot, keep up the fabulous work and I look forward to more recipes, photos and reminders!!!
Erica, your words today reveal even more beauty in your heart. I agree fully, and it makes me uncomfortable to read such hurtful things that I feel are personal and should not be shared with the world. The relationship with my husband is so precious to me, I adore him and I love being married to such an amazing partner. Tomorrow we celebrate our one year wedding anniversary and I am so thankful for our life together. This weekend he will be treated to your recipe for egg rolls and of course biscuits and gravy too!
AGREED!
And those egg rolls have me squealing like a little girl.
I’m writing from Greece where I live and where I go to the English Anglican church. This church is full of older english and american ladies married to greeks, and almost every one of them tears down their husbands behind their backs…it is cumulatively EXTREMELY depressing. After my own experiences, it makes me feel very sad.
i understand that part of this is the freedom of getting together with other non-greek women and letting off steam; that it is a shared experience: having a greek husband.
Most of these husbands, whom I’ve met at patronal suppers and picking up their wives after church, seem very sweet. And they’ve stayed married for 30, 40, 50 years!
Whereas I am divorced. I was married to an abusive husband who abandoned the family, threw us into massive debt and poverty, extorted all the profits of the family business and spent them on high life & prostitutes etc. (Yes there are nightmare men around).
But I hardly talk about it!!!!!
My son and I are just getting on with life!
So I agree with you 100%! And I wonder how many of these older women even KNOW how lucky they are.
While I agree with you rant and won’t post complaints publicly, I will complain to my close giflrfriends
for me, getting a few grips off my chest and them in turn telling me their husbands do some things to drive them crazy as well makes me feel normal. It reminds me thay we all have flaws and a marriage is continual work. These gab sessions also help me get over the petty stuff that might have started an arguement so I can smile and kiss my husband when he comes home, just like he deserves, and mean it. I will admit, when I was a newlywed I was astonished to hear people complain about their spouses and thought it was so wrong. Now, 7 yrs and 2 kids later I find a bit of complaining to someone you trust can be good.
Great looking egg rolls! I’m sure they were super tasty
Say didn’t you know that the only Politically Correct group you can malign are white males?
I totally agree with your rant… and love the egg rolls!!
I wouldn’t post negatives about my husband either. However, it’s funny to see you post anything like this when you’ve been married less than a month.
Amen! I am always telling women this. In the beginning of my marriage, I would complain about my husband to other women. Even if it was over something little (arg, my husband left his clothes on the floor!).. my “friends” would instantly jump on all over him- even telling me I should LEAVE him!
I quickly learned not to talk about my marriage!
Since Erica doesn’t want to link to the “blog post” here it is: http://www.thenovicechefblog.com/2011/09/moral-of-the-story-tell-me-my-hair-is-pretty/
This post was obviously in jest, sarcasm, and fun humor. Not in a malicious, mean way. And best yet? My husband reads all of my blog posts and proof reads for me. He finds it hysterical.
I am sorry it upsets you so much, but I really think you need to find a sense of humor.
Hey Marriage Ref, she’s not belittling me, she tells stories in funny and sarcastic manner. She’s not exactly running behind my back and “laughing at my bad days and poking fun at my shortcomings”, I read every post before it goes live. If there’s something that bothers me (which I think only one thing did once) she removes it. Try reading the blog as a whole and getting context for the tone and style of the author before getting on your high horse like this.
Since the blogger here doesnt want to do any “fair” reporting… I am a reader of all kinds of blogs, yours included… If you actually read anything that Jessica writes you would see that she ADORES her husband, and praises him all the time for his tolerance of her qwirks. She is happily married from what i read, and I would be one of the first to say so am I. But in being truthful about relationships, you arent all happy go lucky all the time. It is called Marriage because it is a work in progress, not a “married”. Maybe if you were going back and forth about posting it, you shouldn’t have. If you are truly christian, you would chosen not to point out the fault of another and just prayed for her to wisdom in her path.
Thats just my humble opinion.
I’m GLAD that Jessica writes the way she writes. Not everything in life is puppies, rainbows and unicorns. She keeps things real and jokes about things that married women can relate to and laugh about.
In fact, the blogger you are bashing is a good blogger friend of mine, and I can tell you that she is definitely not posting to bash her husband. She absolutely loves her husband. It’s something called sarcasm and a sense of humor…ever heard of it?
Guess not…too busy frying egg rolls and writing about a perfect lovey dovey life.
Oh, and your suggestion of cooking him something to show how much you love him? Yeah, she does that for him, too.
Maybe you should fully get to understand the voice of a blogger before you start bashing them on that high horse of yours. Ridiculous.
You probably should have posted the original post so your commenters wouldn’t start blindly agreeing with you. I actually agreed with everything you were saying until I read the actual original post and saw that’s not what the blogger is doing at al!!
I believe the foundation to any marriage is being able speak openly with one another and to to laugh with each other. Don’t take things too seriously because life is too short. The blogger is clearly speaking in a joking manner and has said nothing malicious… the way you wrote this post makes it sound like she was saying things like “ugh, my husband is so annoying- I can’t stand him” or something in that manner.
Not the case. Nice work trying to cause controversy though!
Her blog is her place for expressing herself. Although you mention not wanting to judge anyone, you clearly are. Otherwise, you would have simply written a tribute to your significant other with no mention of what you’ve seen on other blogs.
This is also your space to say what you please, and I respect that, but it ought to be done without pointing fingers.
I think your error here was not knowing Jessica or her blog and basing an entire post and opinion off of a write up she made about Snicker Doodle cookies. Had you been following Jessica for awhile, you’d know that she meant the post in jest and that Jorge thought it was hilarious.
So the lesson is to be had is this: I hope others will not judge the content of your character by the naivety expressed in this post and I hope the same for Jessica and her chai cookie post.
Brava! Dirty laundry is just that… and it only belongs in your own house - behind closed doors.
I know we are all guilty at some point of writing “that” certain blog post in the heat of anger or embarrassment. Although, most of us have the good sense to press delete instead of publish.
by the by… I do love the egg rolls. I’ve never been terribly successful in creating anything other than crispy little grease pockets. I may give your oven baked version a try..
Thanks for sharing!
What a wonderful, ONE SIDED, judgmental post! I’m sorry, but I’ve been following Jessica’s blog for quite a while, and if there is one thing I gather, it’s that she loves her husband very much. She’s always baking & cooking delicious things for him. Her & her husband seem to have a very easy-going, funny, supportive relationship. She supports her husband so much, she moved away from her family & friends to a city she doesn’t know a soul. Not to mention he travels often for work, being gone weeks on end. All these things I’ve learned because I read her posts. All of them. Not just ONE post seen on Foodgawker. As a Christian, I would expect you to not make such snap judgements based on ONE thing you’ve read.
There is this thing called SARCASM. I used it in my first sentence in this post. You might want to study up on that, so you can more easily recognize it. It might help you from making such harsh criticisms in the future.
PS. Everything Branny said was awesome. She’s a smart lady.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I too am newly married, but long before, I knew that I would never badmouth my husband in front of anyone (this includes my parents, my friends, and future children). It is the epitome of disrespect, it does nothing good for your relationship with your husband, other people don’t want to hear you complain, and you’ll be sure to regret it later.
I love that you write “Please note that I’m not trying to judge anyone - you have to do that for yourself” and then COMPLETELY judge Jessica for her post. You make crazy assumptions about her marriage based off one single post that is completely sarcastic. But I’m glad your marriage is perfect.
Guys, everything is perfect when it is one month old. I think the “spirit” of the message is it’s a lovely idea to try to preserve the perfection of something when it is new, as it was created. I hope Erica can always maintain that
Plus, she’s a very-newly-wed newlywed- I think she deserves a little slack
It’s a beautiful period in a marriage!
Maybe it’s also worth noting that sometimes what appears to be slandering someone or trashing them is loving humor that a couple has honed over decades together - part of the beauty of marriage is laughing together with and yes, at each other, and living to tell the tale. It’s part of why you marry - to grow together and intertwine so that an outsider may not get your joke and even be offended by it, but the couple themselves are totally in on the joke
Oh good grief… Erica it is FINE for you to post a little rant every now and again. I would hardly call that harmful even though a few people obviously took it very personally.
I’m about to go read Jessica’s original post and I’m sure its supposed to be funny and sarcastic just like everyone is saying. But if it offended you, you’re free to say so! Hope the negative feedback didn’t get to you too much.
And I’m glad your soaking up all the wonderful-ness of marriage. My husband and I just rounded the corner of year-two and it’s been a two year honeymoon. We are blessed.
I read all of the comments, and wow, did they run the gamut! My two cents here (like anyone else, I cannot resist!) is that a) different couples have different ways to express themselves and what is acceptable for one is not for another (for example, my fiance and I girl-watch together. We both find women pretty, and it’s not like I am worried that he’s going to run away with some random chick we saw on the street! :-P). b) when you say to go make something tasty for your husband instead of bashing him, I hope he does the same to you! Being the only one going out of your way is very draining, so he better be just as sweet to you as you are to him! (I’m sure he is, but ya never know.)
Ending that segment, I am also SUPER excited about these eggrolls! I’ve had such poor luck with eggrolls before that have involved such things as 6 gazillion phone calls to said fiance saying everything from “making eggrolls!!!!” to “I’m going to kill anything that I can get my hands on and a few that I can’t”. So, if you say they’re easy, I believe you and I look forward to trying them.
Wow, such hatred some commenters have! Erica did not “attack” the blogger, I’m sure that’s why she did not post a link to the blog or post the blogger’s name. She simply stated her opinion that posting negative comments regarding one’s spouse was not a good idea. I completely agree; even in jest, I feel it is belittling, and cannot strengthen a relationship. I think if we really put more thought into how our actions affect others, and try to only do things that will help and uplift them, the world would be a much better place.
Jessica: I’m happy to find that the blog post you wrote was in jest - you sure fooled me!
Glad to find that your husband reads your blog and enjoys it!
I had a few reasons for not posting a link to your blog post:
1) I was trying to keep some respect for you and your readers and not get personal.
2) Your post contained some language that I was not comfortable sharing with my readers.
3) My intent was not an exposé of your post, but a reaction to the attitude expressed by you and your readers, which I find very prevalent today. It was a rant against wives complaining about their husbands, not specifically your post. I wasn’t trying to target you.
Again, I’m happy to find that you were writing in jest. I think it’s awesome that your husband defends you! Just goes to show what a strong relationship you guys have.
However, I still reserve the right to disagree with the style of your writing. I could tell that you were being funny. It saddened me that you find it funny to make your husband (even in jest) sound like an annoying little boy (I’m sorry, that’s the impression I got).
I was not trying to offend you or bring you down. I was reacting to what I see as a poor attitude to have about your husband. Call me old-fashioned, but I think it’s best to keep your annoyances between husband and wife.
Thank you for keeping your language respectful on my blog! Sorry you couldn’t do the same on Facebook.
Alex: Sorry - I guess I’ve never thought that the key to a great marriage is being able to laugh about each other in public. Yes, you need to keep a sense of humor in marriage, or you will go down. But I think that love and respect are the keys to a lasting, awesome marriage. I don’t see the point of venting mild frustrations other than to be humorous. I don’t see that as building your relationship.
Becky: Actually, we’ve been married three months! And I mentioned in my post that I’m newly married and probably will come across some hardships in the future. I still have lots of growing to do, but this is my opinion at the moment!
Erica,
You need a reality check. Welcome to the real world. If you want a successful blog you really need to think before you speak..or post. I was a recent new reader to your blog, but now I am completely turned off by your judgemental nature and trying to cover that just made you look even worse. Call it what you want, but that’s what you were doing.
After you are married for a few years maybe then someone would pay attention to your opinion on anything to do with marriage. Now grow up.
Becky: My goal wasn’t to be successful. I knew it would turn some people away.
erica - i’ve been reading your blog for awhile now. i’ve been married for 7 years; 13 years altogether. i read the link that jessica typed on her comment - mind you, i didn’t know her blog existed until this post. anyway, i didn’t see anything malicious or anything that will undermine her husband. it’s funny and warped, actually… with some truth to it. seriously. e.g.: being in the same house/apt for a number of days. uh-huh. yeah. being away on a holiday for a number of days is completely different than being confined in the same space with nothing extraordinary thing to do.
that said, just take it easy. i know everything is still candies and roses, being the newlywed that you guys are. but also keep in mind that - whatever is normal to some people may not be normal to you guys - vice versa. also, humor comes in so many different ways. as it has been said - don’t take life too seriously. you’ll never come out alive anyway
Generally, I agree with your rant. One of the most important things our pre-marital counseling taught us was not to air each other’s dirty laundry in front of anyone else, as it is disrespectful and hurtful. That said, after reading Jessica’s post, I’m not of the same opinion that she was belittling her husband or saying cruel things to mock him in front of her girlfriends. It was a humorous post that a lot of women can relate to. You and I are both newlyweds and can’t get enough alone time with our husbands, but I imagine that in a few years, we’ll start to treasure “just me time”. I think that’s normal and I think that’s what Jessica was teasing about
It’s clear from her husband’s comments that they enjoy teasing each other and that it’s all in good fun.
Try not to be offended or too self-righteous about the things that you don’t agree with, especially if it hurts others. As Christians, we’re too often labeled as judgmental. I can tell by your sweet posts that you have a beautiful, pure heart. Consider this a life lesson about how our words spread like wildfire on the internet and how we should always carefully choose what we say. There are certainly days when I need to be reminded of this too!
Take care, God Bless, and congratulations on your marriage!
I’m ultra late to this post but when I read it in my feed reader I was thinking that no two marriages are the same. I think one of the REAL tricks to blogging is trying to find that level ground. Deciding what to share or not to share. I often joke about my husband being late, or being a jerk - but I don’t share the details unless I want to. This is my life, and he happens to be a person in that story. But, if he ever did say he were uncomfortable with something, I wouldn’t share it - I respect him enough to do that.
Fascinating post - but I guess you already know that by the comment count
any substitute for the pork you have found to be good on these egg rolls?
also, keep cooking for your husband…well done
love the smokey bbq sauce as well
benjamin: I haven’t tried anything other than pork, but I’m sure beef would be a suitable substitute. The texture and flavor would be a bit different, though. I have seen recipes for chicken egg rolls as well. Experiment!
This looks waaay better than any store-bought egg roll I have come across. Can’t wait to give it a try for myself.
I appreciate your courage that it took to write this rant. You said it, Erica! Thank you for sharing:)
I wanted to suggest adding a touch of fish sauce to the filling. It’s salty and pungent and might be that authentic asian flavor missing.
So you cook the filling first before putting it in the egg roll wraps? I’ve never tried that, maybe that’s why my egg rolls turn out soggy after they’ve cooled a bit? Also I use oyster sauce (tip from a Filipino friend) to flavor, very yummy!
I’ve been married for 13 years. When I was first married I heard all the comments too about how after awhile we’d be tired of each other, that his awesomeness would fade, blah blah blah. After 13 years he is still my favorite person to spend time with. He is still awesome.
One piece of advice: no expectations. Men and women are different, we balance each other. We complement each other. Many women get irritated when men don’t see a mess that needs to be cleaned, or can’t understand why they do things differently. They put expectations on the men and are frustrated when those expectations aren’t fulfilled.
Take care and God bless
Your marriage sounds incredibly boring
Great post, Eric, and I think a wonderful reminder of how spouses should always try to act, whether newlyweds or in our golden years! I think it’s silly to think that somehow our ideals change as you get further in a marriage and it’s suddenly excuseable to bash our spouse, especially to random people.
I find it shocking and sad when people do that, even if it’s mutual and deemed humorous. Obviously, we have our issues with spouses as we go through life…I just think there’s a much, much better way to express it and not be slowly tearing each other down.
Sweetie…you are very right…it is wrong to complain and belittle our husbands. Why call this a ‘rant’ (which is defined as violent or extravagant speech or writing)? This is information that can just be presented in an encouraging fashion and beneficial to everyone! Over the years, I have been learning many lessons, and have MANY to go every day. Along with how I treat my man is how I speak to him and others (verbally, written, etc.). You set the tone for your writing and how you get your point across….so instead of ‘ranting’ about it, speak about it! I love how you gave a good alternative to cook him something instead of bashing him! It was a great reminder, because it is easy to do. And these eggrolls look delish:) Thanks for the post!
This is my first time here and I love your recipes! Can’t wait to try the eggrolls!!
I saw this thread and even though I didn’t see all the posts, I get the gist of what happened. I have found myself in this trap recently. It’s hard and we’re only human. When we feel we have been wronged, we look to others for affirmation.
I’ve been married for 12 years and recently found out my husband hasn’t not been faithful in our marriage. While I have not gone around telling everyone our business, I did need the support and advice of close friends. My concern was for me and our daughter. Not him. At that moment, I really could have cared less about him.
Anyway, people do things out of anger that they wish they could take back. Others are just mean spirited. I have a tendency to give people the benefit of the doubt because I truly believe everyone is good until they prove to me that they are not.
Keep those recipes coming!!
[...] (recipe adapted by: http://www.cookingforseven.com/2011/09/homemade-egg-rolls-a-rant/) [...]